In the kitchen

Zo and I used to have a lot of one on one time. I am the primary stay at home parent here. Before Sage was born, she and I spent most of the day alone. Then, suddenly, I was in bed spending my days nursing a newborn and our relationship changed dramatically. Things have balanced out much more now that Sage is older. Still, our days are now Sage, Zo and I - so the opportunities for one on one time are less.

 

One place where Zo and I have great time together is the kitchen. I love to cook, and do much of our daily food preparing. Zo is always looking for new tools to learn to use, new responsibilities. Cooking together has been a really great space for our one on one time lately.

 



Zo preparing tiny pupusas.

 

I let her try all kinds of tools and trust her to stir even hot things. She loves the independence and experimentation. And honestly, I love cooking with her. Don't get me wrong - I was worried about the mess and time and patience it might take. Cooking is something I love to do alone - it is my space away from parenting, a place where I get creative. Every time we do cook together it brings a lot of joy. It is not as messy, time consuming or frustrating as I thought. And it makes for really fantastic one on one time.

 

Finding joy in cooking together meant letting go of some things. You know. Things like order, control and cleanliness. It also meant letting go of some boundaries. I learned that Zo is much more capable in the kitchen that I imagined a 3 year old could be. She insisted on less boundaries. She insisted she could do it. Over time I have let go of my worries and ideas of what she can and can't do.

 

Here are some other things that have made our time joyful:

 

 

 - letting go of recipes. Letting Zo add her own flourish to a meal gives her ownership. She likes to add a bit of ketchup, margarine, basil.... Does it affect taste? We didn't notice it in the pupusas. Sure we have boundaries - no hot sauce in the baby's food, for instance. But for the most part she suggests very doable additions. When her choices are a bit outrageous, we pull out some spices and I teach her about them. She can choose from the ones I strategically pull out. Letting her get creative means she enjoys eating the food all that much more.

 

 - not fearing heat, but teaching how to be safe. Zo has been working around an oven/stove as a three year old for awhile now. She respects the heat and is careful. I reminder her each time we cook about the heat of the element, oven, pots and pans. I clearly point out to her which pots I am turning on. She does very well and loves the responsibility. 

 

 

 - playing. this is our time. Food is serious in that we don't waste it and are grateful for it. Heat and sharp tools are serious in that they can hurt us if we aren't attentive. Beyond that, though, cooking should be playful! We eat snacks. We listen to music. We chat. We dance. We make art with food. We count things. We tell jokes.

 

Zo likes to make things in minerature. Why not? Big pupusas for big people and tiny pupusas for little hands. It is something I wouldn't have done cooking this meal myself. Something I wouldn't likely have thought of. But to Zo, it is easier for her littler hands, is fun and makes sense. Zo and Sage both loved them.

Sage loving her tiny pupusa

In the kitchen I hear things like "mommy, I love cooking sauce with you". I hear questions that might not have been asked in other places. I have many opportunities to give responsibility and celebrate new accomplishments. And I hear laughter - hers and mine.

Another perk? Our picky eater will almost always eat something SHE made. She knows the ingredients that went into it. She knows there it ketchup in there, somewhere.

All good things.

Making Monday: Needle felting

This weekend I got to try something I have been itching to try for a long time now - needle felting.

Our family attended a sustainability festival in town and one of the areas was for local businesses. It turns out there is a couple who is passionate about wool, felting, and their sheep, and they live close enough for us to visit the farm.

I spent some time speaking to Tim Fisher about his sheep and his passion for wool. He explained that much of our wool in Canada is sent to China to be processed into felt. He wants to keep his wool local and inspire people in the area to try felting for themselves.

They had everything I needed to get started, which is really not much at all for needle felting (wool, needles and some foam so you don't poke yourself!)



Rainbow starter kit from all sorts acre

I bought myself a little kit with 10 small bags of wool in different colours. It included three differently gauged needles, instructions, and a foam block for working on. If you are making small toys like I am, this is really not at all expensive. $10 dollars will get you needles and enough wool to make a number of felted critters.

I have watched a couple people needle felt before - and it turns out to be very simple and gratifying. My first sit down I made Zo a little Hen for Easter. Last night after the little ones were sleeping I made another smaller hen and a nest. Our kids are getting a playsilk each for Easter - one blue and one green. I'm inspired to make some little animals to play on these new landscapes.



Needle felting is very fast, simple, and something I can do while my children play. It can be easily put down and picked back up. There are no stitches to count. It is simple and gratifying! A quick read through the instructions gives you the idea and off you go. It is really very easy.

Tim and Jennifer are local to us here in Ontario - they have open houses to come visit the sheep, and are very lovely folks. You can check out their website at allsortsacre.ca . You never know, perhaps there is a local passionate business near you! We are planning to go visit the sheep at their next open house.

As for me, I'm going to make this nest a little larger, felt some eggs - and then who knows!

Happy Birthday Sage!

One year old. Oh dear. You are growing too fast little one.



Birthing

This day, last year. I was heading into active labour with Sage.

Sage was the first child I carried, but she is my second daughter. My first child was carried by my wife. Labouring and pushing Sage into this work did not make me a mother. I was already a mother without doing these things. Nor was Sage's my first birth. Though I didn't carry and labour Zo into this world physically, I did in many other ways - and she will always be my first birth. I feel strongly that my wife and I both birthed Sage into this world. One of us more physically, but together undoubtedly.

Birthing Sage was epic. I was fascinated, still am, by the experience.

I was fascinated by the clarity I experienced of knowing what I needed while labouring. I don't mean that I knew what was coming or how things would progress - but I did seem to know clearly what I needed in the moment. Dark, quiet, warm, cold, encouragement, solitude...

I was fascinated by how what I wanted changed through labour. In early active labour I wanted darkness, to be completely alone, silence. I was not surprised by this - I am introverted and I open up more when I have my own little space to figure things out. But it was strange in how strongly I felt this need. Moving into a lit room where others were caused instant change in how I felt contractions. Over time I moved away from being alone to wanting to be held and supported by my wife. From silence to soft words of encouragement. From no assistance, to very rhythmic needs of sips of juice, hands held, reminders given.

I was fascinated by my posterior Sage, and how our bodies somehow worked together through 3 days of early labour to turn and prepare. I was in awe of my body. In awe of my mind. By how I clung to bits of knowledge I'd read and how those few words ran through me repeatedly. Open. Waves. Surrender.

There were a number of times in labouring Sage that I learned I was not progressing well. When I found I had not dilated the expected amount. When I learned that hours or labour work had 'produced' very little. And I was fascinated by how I met most of this news - I felt discouraged, but was able to quickly get back into things without losing it. This is not me in normal, everyday times. I love control, predictability - being rewarded my dues for my hard work. But somehow I was able to tuck away my doubts and fears until transition came along.

I was fascinated by the surprise I felt when, after coming through transition, it was time to push. I had been feeling the urge to push for a time. When I first felt the urge to push I was still 3cm shy of full dilation, and had a swelling cervix. So I was strongly advised not to push despite the very strong urges. This was the hardest time of labour - because I couldn't do what my body was trying so hard to do. I was surprised to be fully dialated only 30 minutes afterwards. Those 30 minutes were the most challenging. The feeling ot finally being able to do what I felt so strongly I needed to do was so awesome. I felt calmness again, mixed with a fear. The end was here. How do I push anyways?

The best part of birthing Sage, the part I will treasure forever - was pushing. In the birth pool I was the only one to note how she was descending. I felt the top of her head. I remember the surprise and delight. My midwife's knowing gentle smile. The loving encouragement in the room. The hands of my wife holding and supporting me. I remember holding the top of her sweet little head as she was being born.

Then she was in our arms. And I was fascinated a million times over.

Birthing Sage in this way was so powerful and positive. It is a treasure I hold on to. For days afterwards I felt disappointed to be back into the normal ryythm of things. I longed for the journey of labour again. It was other-worldly.

My experience of Sage's birth is different than my wife's. My experience of Zo's birth is also different than my wife's. I will write more about experiencing birth as a NGP (non-gestational partner) as we move towards Zo's birthday in the next month.

Making Monday: T-Shirt Applique

 

 Applique is really easy. It makes a sweet, homemade gift for a new babe or birthday. I make my girls birthday shirts with their new age on them. Applique is also great for covering up still great hand-me-downs that have some stains.

 

 

Here is how I made Sage`s 1st birthday shirt:

 

 

1. Gather materials: shirt, fabric you want to use, and double-sided fusible web. You can find the web at your local craft or fabric store. I got a very large roll for $10. It will last me a long, long time.

 



 

2. Cut out your design. Play around until you have the shirt you want :)

 

 

3. Place your cut out fabric, facing up, onto the fusible web. It will stick to it a bit. Cut out the web to match your fabric. Peel off the backing and place your design back on the shirt. You can layer fabrics if you like.



 

 

 

4. Iron the fabric to the shirt. Use your iron`s cotton setting. 30-60 seconds is generally good timing. I use 60 seconds when I have layers of fabric. Your design will be fused to the shirt.

 

 

 

4. Using a zig-zag stitch, stick around your fabric edges. Use complimentary colours, shiny thread, rainbow changing thread if you wish. This steps prevents freying.

 



 

 

That`s it! There is so much you can do. I love applique :)

 

 



 

A birthday crown for Sage

This week I made Sage's felt birthday crown. It was a sweet little project to do. This was my first crown. Zo got really into the project and asked for one for her 4th birthday as well.

 

I first cut two identical crowns in the blue felt. One one piece I appliqued my decorations. The second piece was the backing to hide all the stitching from the applique. I used elastic to connect the crown in the back so that it would stretch to fit a growing head. I made the grown just the right size without stretching the elastic this year. Zo tried it on and it fit her at almost 4 - so it can be used for awhile :)

I decided to put things on the crown that remind me of Sage's birth:

* the Sun - Sage was born at sunrise.  I remember listening to the circadas through the patio door while I laboured in the birth pool. I loved labouring in the night. It was quiet, still. As Sage was born, the sky was just starting to lighten. I nursed her on the couch watching the sunrise.

* Crocus - We have crocus in our yard that bloomed in the days before and after Sage's birth. I love that every year they will come up around her birthday. She was born on the first day of spring, which is kinda lovely, so this will remind us of that.

* Waves of water -  Sage was born in a birth pool. That water got me through labour. It felt so incredible each time I got back in. Col was in the water supporting me through the last of labour. She was there when Sage was born and scooped up into our arms out of the water.

Sage's birthday is this week, but she tried on her crown for a while today anyways. She loved it. It is great to have this tangible way to tell Sage a bit about her birthday as she grows.

Toddler

Sage is nearly one and growing so quickly these weeks. She loves climbing into this little chair all by herself. She is very close to walking. She is communicating clearer and more complex messages. She is getting more specific in her wants.

I love watching each new idea and understanding light up her face. I love seeing the questions in body language.  I wonder if I can stand here without holding anything. I wonder if I can walk holding this with one hand. I wonder...

She is now walking solidly holding one hand. And I see it in her face. I feel it in the loosening of her grip. She is nearly ready.

I love watching my babies grow. Of course it is bittersweet. I'd love them to slow down. A lot. Still, there is something about watching their incredible growth in the first years.

It is amazing.


Some other new things for Sage:

Drinking small amounts from a cup

Turning pages

Walking with her Push Cart

Removing and replacing with her egg and cup from Quality Montessori

 

What we put on the land

This week I cleaned out our pantry.

I was surprised to find expired things. Things that are junk food that we shouldn't eat. Empty packages lost in corners.

I have long thought that our family could use the challenge of living package free for a month. Most days it doesn't hit me - that these wrappers are just going to sit somewhere. I'm not talking about cans and recyclable containers. I'm talking about the plastic wrap that covers a lot of our food. The plastic bags our organic produce comes in.

When we were in Ghana the first time in 2004, I was struck by the necessity of living with your garbage. Neither the capital city nor the small villages we lived in had garbage programs. What wasn't used for other purposes was piled right near the house and burned. What didn't burn was visable day in and out. A daily reminder of our impact on the land. A daily reminder of wasted resources.

The pile was not large at all. And I was very conscious of my contributions to it. My habits had to change.

Years later we are here in our home. Each week compost, recycling and garbage are carried off. Most weeks I don't think about it. My wife collects and takes out the garbage each week - so I am even more removed from the volume of stuff we discard.

The bag Zo is holding is filled only with plastic wrapping and bags that cannot be recycled. Seeing her holding that bag I was reminded that this plastic will remain on the land throughout my daughter's life.

It is time to think more on this. Time for a package free month... We will see :)