In the kitchen

Zo and I used to have a lot of one on one time. I am the primary stay at home parent here. Before Sage was born, she and I spent most of the day alone. Then, suddenly, I was in bed spending my days nursing a newborn and our relationship changed dramatically. Things have balanced out much more now that Sage is older. Still, our days are now Sage, Zo and I - so the opportunities for one on one time are less.

 

One place where Zo and I have great time together is the kitchen. I love to cook, and do much of our daily food preparing. Zo is always looking for new tools to learn to use, new responsibilities. Cooking together has been a really great space for our one on one time lately.

 



Zo preparing tiny pupusas.

 

I let her try all kinds of tools and trust her to stir even hot things. She loves the independence and experimentation. And honestly, I love cooking with her. Don't get me wrong - I was worried about the mess and time and patience it might take. Cooking is something I love to do alone - it is my space away from parenting, a place where I get creative. Every time we do cook together it brings a lot of joy. It is not as messy, time consuming or frustrating as I thought. And it makes for really fantastic one on one time.

 

Finding joy in cooking together meant letting go of some things. You know. Things like order, control and cleanliness. It also meant letting go of some boundaries. I learned that Zo is much more capable in the kitchen that I imagined a 3 year old could be. She insisted on less boundaries. She insisted she could do it. Over time I have let go of my worries and ideas of what she can and can't do.

 

Here are some other things that have made our time joyful:

 

 

 - letting go of recipes. Letting Zo add her own flourish to a meal gives her ownership. She likes to add a bit of ketchup, margarine, basil.... Does it affect taste? We didn't notice it in the pupusas. Sure we have boundaries - no hot sauce in the baby's food, for instance. But for the most part she suggests very doable additions. When her choices are a bit outrageous, we pull out some spices and I teach her about them. She can choose from the ones I strategically pull out. Letting her get creative means she enjoys eating the food all that much more.

 

 - not fearing heat, but teaching how to be safe. Zo has been working around an oven/stove as a three year old for awhile now. She respects the heat and is careful. I reminder her each time we cook about the heat of the element, oven, pots and pans. I clearly point out to her which pots I am turning on. She does very well and loves the responsibility. 

 

 

 - playing. this is our time. Food is serious in that we don't waste it and are grateful for it. Heat and sharp tools are serious in that they can hurt us if we aren't attentive. Beyond that, though, cooking should be playful! We eat snacks. We listen to music. We chat. We dance. We make art with food. We count things. We tell jokes.

 

Zo likes to make things in minerature. Why not? Big pupusas for big people and tiny pupusas for little hands. It is something I wouldn't have done cooking this meal myself. Something I wouldn't likely have thought of. But to Zo, it is easier for her littler hands, is fun and makes sense. Zo and Sage both loved them.

Sage loving her tiny pupusa

In the kitchen I hear things like "mommy, I love cooking sauce with you". I hear questions that might not have been asked in other places. I have many opportunities to give responsibility and celebrate new accomplishments. And I hear laughter - hers and mine.

Another perk? Our picky eater will almost always eat something SHE made. She knows the ingredients that went into it. She knows there it ketchup in there, somewhere.

All good things.